Copyright © 2010 Helena Hentz
One father described a doula this way: she was like my big sister – ready, willing and able to help me to do the best job I could.
Dads And Doulas
The birth of your baby is a very private, emotional and spiritual experience, an event that both of you will remember throughout your lives.
Some fathers don’t want to be actively involved in the birth process and just participate because it is expected of them. Some would rather stand outside waiting for the big news, sometimes it is also culturally inappropriate for an expectant father to be so intimately involved in the process of birth.
However, most of today's expectant fathers want to be present, support and care for you during the labour and birth of your baby. These fathers often feel that a doula takes his place at your side, he may think that his role as your birthing companion will be reduced and doesn’t understand why you want somebody else for support than him during this intimate event.
Doula will not interfere with the loving bond between you two. Doula can actually help make the experience much more positive and relaxed for him by offering suggestions as to how he can make you more comfortable during labour, encourage partner to participate at their own comfort level and reassures him that what you are feeling is normal and you are safe. The pressure on the partner, as a birth companion or birth coach is decreased and he often feels relieved and enjoy the experience much more with a doula who is comfortable and familiar with the labour process
Your baby’s father plays an essential role in providing support for you. A doula cant and does not try to take over fathers role as the birth partner. The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and reassuring. The love he shares with you and his child, his need to nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide.
With your partner and a doula at birth you can have the best of both worlds: your partner’s loving care and attention and the doulas expertise and guidance in childbirth.
My goal as your doula is to support both of you on the journey into Motherhood and Fatherhood so that the birth of your baby stays in your mind as a most memorable and positive experience.
Testimonials from Dreambirth dads:
"You reaffirmed our belief that having a baby is a natural process without the need for doctors and medication. U helped us to decide when we should go to the birth centre which took the pressure off me. U also read the signs of Kate’s labour and insisted that we stay at the birth centre (midwives wanted to send us home!) We would have been lost without you. Your support allowed us to have the birth we wanted."
Leigh – dad of Lucy (July 2012)
"Thank you so much for everything you have done for Kym. There is no way the outcome would have been the same if it were not for you. It was hard for her to keep saying NO to the doctors but you cleared the path for her. We are over the moon. That smile on your facebook page says it all."
Glen – father of two boys (April 2012)
How did the hypnobirthing course help you to prepare for your birth?
"Helped to dispel all the myths society and friends who are fathers have encouraged and helped me to realize my belief that women are designed to have babies! Helped to build my knowledge and confidence and as a result make me a better support for my wife. It allowed us to be able to talk through our fears and plans. Helped me to understand how T. was feeling. Made me feel confident in the hospital that we knew what we were doing and how we wanted to approach it. "
Paddy – dad of Harry (November 2012)